For years, I believed building and leading a community was part of my duty as a business owner. I considered it a way to give back, share knowledge, market my business, and connect with like-minded people. And for a time, it was fulfilling. But, over the years I eventually realised something important: community building is not for everyone, and that’s OK!
In my case, closing my community was the best decision I ever made for my mental health, my family, and my business. Here’s why:
The mental and emotional load
Leading a community sounds great on paper. But behind the scenes, I was carrying a constant mental load:
- Stress from trying to keep the group alive, engaged, and growing
- Pressure to endlessly create value, content, and conversation starters
- The emotional drain of dealing with entitlement. For example: people expecting free advice, direct help at all hours, and crossing personal boundaries
When boundaries break down
What really wore me down was how some members blurred the lines between my professional and private life:
- People tracked down my family and added them on social media without permission
- Some tried to connect with my teenage daughter online, which was deeply unsettling
- One individual even researched my home address, property value, and personal details, sending me a chilling email that shook me to the core
There were, of course, many wonderful people in the community. Many of whom I still consider friends to this very day! But as the group grew (we hit 4,000 members at one point), the bad outweighed the good. It became unmanageable. I became embittered, sad and the burnout was real.
The darker side of the scene
Another hard truth: behind the curtain, I saw too many “influencers” in the space focused solely on squeezing their communities for money, with no care for long-term value or ethics. While I never wanted to be like that, just witnessing it was an emotional burden.
What I learned
Walking away from community building was liberating. I shifted focus, found a quieter path in the Life Sciences sector, and now enjoy a fulfilling career without the baggage of trying to “lead” a large group. I still earn as well as I did, but with far less stress, my privacy intact and my mental health recovering.
Community building isn’t for everyone. And if it’s emotionally draining for you, it’s okay to step away.
If you’re considering starting or growing a community, I hope my experience helps you reflect on what’s right for you, because, take it from me, it’s not the only way to succeed.
So how do I do business now? Great question. Read this!
Photo by Joseph Malone on Unsplash