Having grown up in the church, the son of a minister, I have long heard the message that homosexuality is a sin. This has been established as a ‘fact’ with countless scriptures being quoted as the smoking gun that proves the position. And yet, deep down, whilst understanding the argument that was made, it never felt right. It didn’t feel like a core truth, deep down in my soul, that loving another, whomever they were was wrong! Yet the conflict before me was clear. My peers and elders were confidently telling me that what I felt to be true in my heart was wrong. Who was I to question and push back? What insight or knowledge did I have that was intellectually MORE correct than these learned folk?
I chose therefore silence. For countless years, I have been a part of the the church, proclaiming the ‘good news’ whilst not making a stand for the very folks that I felt were doing no wrong. I am truly sorry that I have let the confident intellectualism of other Christians silence what has been burning within me. I have stood by, allowing people who love one another to feel they are in the wrong. That scripture proves it. That God welcomes them, but there are conditions attached. Churches often welcomed gay couples, but made it very clear that whilst welcome, they could not participate in leadership or have their ‘lifestyles’ be seen to be approved by the church. ‘Belong before you believe’ was a mantra for the none believers, but it felt there was also an unspoken mantra. If you were gay, trans, or didn’t conform to the ideal, you were ‘welcome to spectate’. No one said this explicitly but it was most certainly implied.
We were called as Christians to demonstrate the right way to live, so whilst welcoming the ‘sinners’, the hope would be their lives would be transformed by the Word and through the example we all set as we strove to live renewed lives, guided by the Bible and what was spoken from the pulpit. If you were ‘in sin’ by engaging in a relationship with the same gender, you were welcome to attend, but the hope was you’d be converted.
Quick tangent before I get into what has made me speak out and affirm others… What has never made sense to me was how so many folks in the church struggled with porn, but were still allowed to participate, contribute and even lead. So whilst this activity was decribed as a sin, folks who were ‘slave to it’, were being given different treatment to those who had made the grave error of loving another human being.
So what has made me speak up? What has made me push against years of being told that what I feel in my heart is wrong? One word, Grace. Whilst I refuse to use scripture to make my case, for those that do Ephesians 2:8 is clear to me. ‘It is by GRACE’. Grace is a gift, it is not something we as the church get to distribute based on our head knowledge of a book written by mostly men, compiled over thousands of years. It is simply grace. Our response is to live. I feel that our response is to live, to live our best lives, according to the truth we feel inside of us. Not judging others, or bringing them down, but building one another up and supporting them.
‘But the Bible says’ I hear some say. Yet I think you may have guessed my feelings about the Bible already. However let me state that the Bible is the foundational book of my faith. It represents 1000s of years of humankind, trying to understand their creator and to connect with them. It contains wisdom and truth, words that encourage and edify others. Yet it also includes horrific stories, and moments where God appears to condone rape, plunder and genocide. I am sorry but if you have to jump through hoops to explain to me why in that circumstance it was ‘right’ or ‘just’, then your case starts to look weak. Context and culture being used as an excuse just looks like you’re picking what supports your narrative, whilst talking around the rest.
I see folks on both sides arguing over translations, meanings and so on, yet suggesting that the Bible might be wrong or errant in any way is to be avoided at all costs. I know right now, by writing this, that many will call me a heretic. That any arguement or position I take will be instantly disguarded. I speak not to those. Instead I speak to you, the reader who deep down in your heart, knows that love should never be a sin. That God IS love. That we are called to love. And that God’s own demonstration of love was met on the tree, and his grace covers all.
So today, I am a Christian, who believes that Christ came to save. That the good news is that all will be made right. That the questions we have will one day be answered, and our mission is to love one another and live our best lives. Living and loving as we love ourselves. Being kind, caring, inclusive, forgiving and full of grace just as we’ve been gifted grace.
If you are a member of the LGBTQ+ community, you are welcome in our church. Welcome to live, love and worship alongside your brothers and sisters. Of course many reading this will not live near Finedon, so I encourage you to look for a local affirming church. Being alone helps no one. The old saying ‘it takes a village’ is true. It takes community, and I pray you are able to find your Church community locally.
No AI was used to write this post. Just me, and my thermal typewriter! (Canon Typestar 2 from 1997).
Featured image by Look Up Look Down Photography on Unsplash